It has been some time, juz like wat cla wrote in the chat box, i've been MIA a while.
Well... everything begins from the moment, i put down my past. Though is not years back but this is enough to make me grow and see some progress in me. Well lets move on, to the recent things i committed with ya.
2 words to describe everything-damn busy... Since i started back my studies, oh my god, i find that i have no enough time. 24 hours a day.. boh cukup.. at first, my class suppose to be on monday and thursday frm 2pm to 9pm.. siao man.. then added 2 more days which is on friday and sat. Shit la! But anyway, no choice, i have to beared with it and get through it. I told myself. I MUST get through. I must grad in 2009. argh.. enough bout studies. i have my plans and i am confident that i will get through.
Besides thats, of coz i am fully committed with my work. well well. as usual.. i found myself back and i am absolutely enjoy this kind of lifestyle although is tiring but it tends to be worthy. Is me, 2 years back but this time different.Here in fact, nothing much to talk about. Is just that i am happy as i see growth and progress among my partners. Results not there yet but i see efforts.. I would wanna say Thank You. Thank You for being with me, walking & fighting hand in hand with me to strive for what we always hunger for, and also for the trust.
In fact a week ago, i went for training in Batam, Indonesia. well well.. at first, i thought i might be just trainings where we just sit and listen to speakers or trainers presenting their experience.. NO!! I am absolutely wrong. Is not like wat i thought of. I really benefit a lot from this training. It started with getting to know our groups and team members, introducing ourselves. then we moved on to communications among team members, team building and unity. Bear in mind, Unity is Strength. The strength we have together, holding tight among ourselves, we will overcome each and every obstacles we encounter.
But, one thing i learned deep in heart is the "Karma Game" .. Is a game, where we are provided with bread, a tube of wasabi, a bottle of tobasco, and a bottle of mustard. What we gotto do, is to present, give it to someone u "boh song", hate, dislike or offended u. I really tot it was a game, while i am thinking who should i give it to, or shall i eat myself .. and here it comes.. juz like a small little bulb appeared in my mind *thinkk* yeah.. he is the one. then i looked at alex.. oh we have the same person on our mind, then who knows, chau yean also.. We was told, the more u hate the person, make him suffered by eating the 3 "shit" ..
At first, i put kinda shallow, but more on wasabi. But the moment i saw" the person" we present it to, siao man.. he put like nobody's business. who eat the one he make.. shit man! and it was specially made for Chau Yean and Alex. It started with anger. MCB. wan like tat meh. play play only ma... Chau Yean and Alex also DL seeing it, so do i. In my perception that time, i told alex, i wanna let "him" know, dont bully my 'son'.. (Chau Yean).. What u do to him, i will seek "revenge" on behalf. So without considering much, we are really out of our mind that time. We top up the bread with the 3"shits" like nobody's business. Some help us up by topping up, some advised us not to do so.. is freaking crazy!! yeah .. we knew bout it.. but that moment, we si beh happy and enjoy. We took pictures with our 'speciality' .. and the time has come. until our trainer asked everyone to stop. He cried in front saying to all of us- " Why is this happening in your team? " I am not sure about others, that time, i wonder why he say so. He asked why among brothers and sisters seems like killing one another. we kept ourselves silence. really. we got nth to say. Until the moment, he told us, that the god is always fair to us. What we do to other people, it will come back to us one day. It is what we called KARMA!! The god say, today what u make, what u put in the bread, you should eat it back yourself. After he said so. Looking at Chau yean, and Alex.. OMG. WTF. Eat this shit in front of me? No matter how regret we are, everything was too late. We should be responsible for all our actions. We start eating. Oh! It reminds me of Fear Factor. I think i rather eat cockroaches and insects rather eating the homemade "shit". When i am eating, i saw my members were crying. They asked me to stop, and divided it among themselves. They ate the "shit" made by me together. We finished up and we puke together in the toilet. That moment, a strong far more than friendship feeling i have..A feeling of brothers and sisters. I am thinking If this happened outside, will my friends help me out, eat it up together? Even Chau Yean gotto finished up himself alone the bread! I am so touched. cant hold my tears. hugging them together, with what all i can do, is to say I'm Sorry for being so blind and not rational in dealing the matters and Thank You Brothers. I learned one thing. Feeling ANGER and REVENGE , make us take action blindly which eventually, we have to be responsibile for the action taken. Today we ate the "shit" but in reality, it is not just that simple and easy thing to be. I am not sure if "you" who are reading this feels that it might be funny.. True enough .. It might be sad.. It might be a joke... Honestly, this is life. Before i blog it here, i told few of my friends, my partners... Some laughed at us.. I accept it because i got no choice but to admit that, we just love seeing other ppl suffers. When other is suffering, it tend to be our laughing(happiness or enjoyment). Hardly or should i say None understand the pain we gone through which now make us as one family stronger, and make us really grow to see things maturely.. Taking this opportunity, i would like to thank to my brothers and sisters Wei Qing, Serene, Avan, Alan, Renting, Eagle, and Zhi Qian (Group 6) , alex , chau yean n everyone in the trip.. a lot to list out...
On the same day itself, that was the day, i lost a lot of 'water' in me. oh ya.. i broke into tears. i hold on, telling myself. NO! I am strong. I won't cry. Unexpected, i cant hold. It was not because of the "shit" i ate. It was on the second part later on. I guess only that day Chau Yean, Alex and my team members knew bout it. Kinda personal to me before this. All the while, i kept it to myself because it tend to be one of my regrets which i used it as my motivation to keep my spirit alive.. summarise it.. in terms of studies, parents, relationship and my business, DCHL. I came to a lot of obstacles, unforseen circumstances. Phew. finally the day has come for me to throw everything out.. I stand as one at the moment. It makes me think back the moment, i decided to quit DCHL, everything is gone! In just one day, for all my 2 years efforts, my sacrifices, my partners, my dreams dissapeared. That was the time, i lost my track, that was the time i even lost my relationship. Thats the moment, i faced every challenge alone. No one to go, No one to share, With guilt because i created a lot of corpse down me, although they didnt blame me, even they do, i might not know, i feel so sorry. I used 3 months to rebuild my confidence, to bring myself back. started a gift shop didnt last long.. some said, i hangat hangat tahi ayam. whatever, but sorry to say i am not, i just cant cope with it. my confidence dropped stimultaneously. total lost. tot of going back to DCHL at first, coz i am rebuilding my confidence.. sucks. much more dissapointment. and till i committed myself in EGA.. I see a new hope. A New Day Is Born. Something which is too good to be true but it is true. I have brothers and sisters now with me. I see progress and growth in all of us. I told my brothers and sisters, walk, run and fight with me. None of u all will be left behind. Give confidence in me and trust me. We shall together face challenges and obstacles around us. I put this in action. The message that i sent to all of you, if it is still with u read it when u are down or if not, view my blog here. I will do what i can. REMEMBER that we are family, we are not only partners or friends,we are brothers and sisters, together we hand in hand and remember,U all are not alone. Our brothers and sisters (Winnie Kung, Nick Chong, Clarissa, Chau Yean, Eric, Peik Har)I promise no one is to be left behind, if u are willing to give me your hand, Lets Hold Tight !!
I dont believe that people have no dreams. maybe they have no confidence in it, Maybe they have forgotten, maybe they are afraid to make it live because of failure once. Failure gives great experience. Failure once doesnt mean forever. I can stand up once again, why not U? For friends who doesnt dare to dream, when is the time? Believe me, the only time for us to venture into new things is only during out youth time. When we are old, we cant afford to venture into new things as we will have more responsibility waiting for us. Start when Young!!
Remember OSAI WASAO - Others See As Imposibility, We all See As Opportunity.
Monday, November 5, 2007
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